This one caught me because it stands in such contrast to the last few verses I highlighted in Nehemiah.
A few chapters ago he was saying the king granted these requests because the gracious hand of God was on me. He was crediting God. Pointing back to Him as the source. Naming the favor.
Now in chapter 5 he is praying something a little different.
Remember, O my God, all that I have done for these people, and bless me for it.
That feels like a different posture.
It is almost the kind of prayer that, if I said it out loud, I would be a little embarrassed about. Like, God, do not forget about all my hard work. I want credit for this.
The context helps. Nehemiah has just been dealing with a major injustice. The wealthy in the city were oppressing the poor. Charging interest. Taking their land. Even enslaving their children. Nehemiah confronted it head on. He made them give it all back.
And then he talks about his own conduct. He never took the food allowance that was owed to him as governor. He paid out of his own pocket for the 150 officials he fed at his table every day. He never used his position to buy land or grow rich. He worked alongside the people on the wall instead of profiting off them.
Then he prays this prayer.
Remember, O my God, all that I have done for these people, and bless me for it.
I am still not sure how to land on this. Because I really respect Nehemiah. So that is probably why I highlighted it. I was tagging verses that made me wrestle for a minute.
He had served well. He had walked in integrity when he could have abused his position. He had quietly done the right thing over and over. And he was asking God, the only One who actually sees the full picture, to take note of it.
There is something honest about that.
Because we all want to be seen. We all want our quiet faithfulness to count for something. We all want to know that the good things we do when no one is watching are not lost on God.
I landed here: Nehemiah was not asking the people to remember him. He was asking God to remember him. There is a difference.
If you have to ask to be remembered, ask Him. He is the One who actually sees. He is the One who actually rewards. He is the One whose judgment counts.
And honestly, He sees the faithful work even when we forget to mention it to Him.